WARNING: This blog post is a complete departure from the overall theme of this blog. But I couldn’t help it.
Hello friends and family! I would like to point your attention to this video of our beagle, Rosie, trying to walk in dog slippers (these were special dog slippers; not only were they made for dogs but they also had stuffed animal dog heads sewn on the top of them):
Here are some things you should know about this video:
- These were given to me by a coworker. Her mother had bought them from Goodwill for her own dog but they were too big. The idea was that maybe Mogwai could wear them. I accepted the slippers with the full knowledge that I would never seriously put my dog in slippers and that, at best, they would make for a cute picture (or VIDEO!)
- These were much too big for Mogwai. But they fit Rosie. She let me put them on her without a problem. Have any of you ever hung out with Rosie? Aside from pretty much HATING all other dogs, Rosie is totally chill. She’ll let you do anything to her. Just ask Anna and Asa. How many “haircuts” have those two given her? [sidenote: In Asa's world, giving your pet a haircut consists of contorting the pets ears any and every way the animal will let you. My preferred haircut for Rosie is her Princess Leia look. I'm sure there is a picture somewhere but I am at work and I cannot find one]
- The slippers stayed on with a velcro strap. It took Rosie all of 3 minutes to figure out how to undo the velcro and shake her paw until the slipper came off. I was actually quite proud of her.
So, this video was posted on June 2nd, 2009. You can imagine my surprise when I got an email notification that someone had posted a comment on this video:
Wait, what?! Who is this person and how do they know I live in a shitty little house?!
I have no answers to these questions because this is what this person’s Youtube page looks like:
Obviously s/he has no joy in their life and nothing better to do than troll around Youtube looking for videos of dogs in slippers and then posting rude messages on said videos. I wonder if s/he has seen this one:
Animal abuse AND child abuse, all rolled into one!
A bigger person than me would have deleted the comment from their page, blocked the user and moved on with her life. However, I find the whole situation hysterical. In terms of what I have to do to Rosie on a daily basis to keep her safe, happy and in good health, this seems incredibly mild. Plus, I’m really funny. So I had to respond. Here you go:
Youtube has a character limit on comments. So I had to make 3 comments to get my point across. I’m giggling now just thinking about it.
Of course, Crazytown couldn’t leave it be so s/he had to respond:
In contrast, the ONLY OTHER comment I’ve ever received on this video was made one year ago:
So, what is it? A video of me clearly abusing my dog or a video full of “so many giggles to be had”? It seems that the 2 strangers who have viewed this video just can’t come to agreement on that. Honestly, I think this video is more humiliating to me than it is to the dog. Do I really talk like that? Or is that just a special voice I reserve for Rosie? And I love how Aimee Mann’s cover of “One is the Loneliest Number” is playing in the background. Poor Rosie; she’s so lonely.
I probably won’t respond again but, if I do, what do you think I should say? The best I can come up with is “You are a lunatic and should be in a mental hospital” but it’s missing the wit and the charm that I am looking for. I am open to suggestions.
PS-If Anna’s Aunt Janet is reading this, I apologize for the use of bad language, especially the C word. However, I hope you can agree with me that my use of that word was warranted in this situation.
I think I’d go with option #1… Delete the comments and block the user. You can’t argue with crazy people.
BTW… I think you’re safe with Aunt Janet. For some reason she received a message about a possible virus from this site when she logged in so I don’t think she comes here anymore.
Jim, it’s much too late for option 1. Plus, I kind of get a kick out of a stranger calling me a c*nt on the internet. I just can’t bring myself to delete it because it makes me laugh so hard. I’m thinking of responding with a list of all the other ways I abuse Rosie. So far I’ve got:
1. I put a harness around her body that she can’t remove, strap a leash to it (also known as a synthetic torture device) and drag her down the street. We call this activity “Going for a walk”
2. I didn’t feed her on Sunday until 9 pm. Granted, it was because she had been puking all day and refused to eat her kibble and I was just waiting until I could get to the store to get ingredients to make her a bland, protein-filled, vomit-proof meal but I’m sure this is animal abuse somehow.
3. When she was pepper-sprayed in the face, I held her head under a faucet of running water while holding her eye open for a good 10 minutes. EVIL ANIMAL ABUSER!
4. I put her in a crate every day. Sure, this seems to make her loads less anxious and she seems to like going in her crate but clearly I would not want to be locked in a cage all day so this must also be animal abuse.
5. When I trim her nails, I actually have to hold her down. Sometimes she even tries to get away. God, I am a horrible person.
6. I won’t let her eat cat food. I hear it’s no good for dogs but I’m such a
jerk for depriving her of something she wants so bad. I should be in jail.
you should reply… “so wait, are you saying that i abuse evil animals? cause that would be alright, right? we all good here or what?”
A few things:
1. It is Three Dog Night’s version of “One”, but I think it should have been Aimee Mann’s cover, because that is much more depressing.
2. I wonder what this person thinks of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q_x-2E1hFU
3. So many giggles to be had!