Time to look at us some more!

We know you’ve all been sitting at your computers, obsessively checking our blog to see if we had pictures. Wait no longer! They are here!

No wait, don’t cry! I know you’ve been waiting for a long time, but this is a time to celebrate!

Ahh yes, much better. Carry on!

See the entire set on Flickr.

And to all of the amazing people who contributed to our honeymoon fund, you will soon be receiving some pretty awesome (and incredibly belated) postcards. Now that you don’t have to sit by your computer waiting for our wedding pictures, you can now get out a lawn chair and sit by your mailbox. Happy waiting!

Update your bookmarks!

I know it’s been awhile since we’ve updated, but we just wanted to let you know that we don’t plan to renew www.annalovesanna.com. Instead, you should go directly to http://annalovesanna.wordpress.com.

We promise there will be updates in the future!

And now for a healthy dose of crazy…

WARNING: This blog post is a complete departure from the overall theme of this blog. But I couldn’t help it.

Hello friends and family! I would like to point your attention to this video of our beagle, Rosie, trying to walk in dog slippers (these were special dog slippers; not only were they made for dogs but they also had stuffed animal dog heads sewn on the top of them):

Here are some things you should know about this video:

1. These were given to me by a coworker. Her mother had bought them from Goodwill for her own dog but they were too big. The idea was that maybe Mogwai could wear them. I accepted the slippers with the full knowledge that I would never seriously put my dog in slippers and that, at best, they would make for a cute picture (or VIDEO!)
2. These were much too big for Mogwai. But they fit Rosie. She let me put them on her without a problem. Have any of you ever hung out with Rosie? Aside from pretty much HATING all other dogs, Rosie is totally chill. She’ll let you do anything to her. Just ask Anna and Asa. How many “haircuts” have those two given her? [sidenote: In Asa's world, giving your pet a haircut consists of contorting the pets ears any and every way the animal will let you. My preferred haircut for Rosie is her Princess Leia look. I'm sure there is a picture somewhere but I am at work and I cannot find one]
3. The slippers stayed on with a velcro strap. It took Rosie all of 3 minutes to figure out how to undo the velcro and shake her paw until the slipper came off. I was actually quite proud of her.

So, this video was posted on June 2nd, 2009. You can imagine my surprise when I got an email notification that someone had posted a comment on this video:

Wait, what?! Who is this person and how do they know I live in a shitty little house?!

I have no answers to these questions because this is what this person’s Youtube page looks like:

Obviously s/he has no joy in their life and nothing better to do than troll around Youtube looking for videos of dogs in slippers and then posting rude messages on said videos. I wonder if s/he has seen this one:

Animal abuse AND child abuse, all rolled into one!

A bigger person than me would have deleted the comment from their page, blocked the user and moved on with her life. However, I find the whole situation hysterical. In terms of what I have to do to Rosie on a daily basis to keep her safe, happy and in good health, this seems incredibly mild. Plus, I’m really funny. So I had to respond. Here you go:

Youtube has a character limit on comments. So I had to make 3 comments to get my point across. I’m giggling now just thinking about it.

Of course, Crazytown couldn’t leave it be so s/he had to respond:

In contrast, the ONLY OTHER comment I’ve ever received on this video was made one year ago:

So, what is it? A video of me clearly abusing my dog or a video full of “so many giggles to be had”? It seems that the 2 strangers who have viewed this video just can’t come to agreement on that. Honestly, I think this video is more humiliating to me than it is to the dog. Do I really talk like that? Or is that just a special voice I reserve for Rosie? And I love how Aimee Mann’s cover of “One is the Loneliest Number” is playing in the background. Poor Rosie; she’s so lonely.

I probably won’t respond again but, if I do, what do you think I should say? The best I can come up with is “You are a lunatic and should be in a mental hospital” but it’s missing the wit and the charm that I am looking for. I am open to suggestions.

PS-If Anna’s Aunt Janet is reading this, I apologize for the use of bad language, especially the C word. However, I hope you can agree with me that my use of that word was warranted in this situation.

Back to life, back to reality.

Well here we are, all weddinged and honeymooned! We spent such a long time planning and waiting and being excited and nervous, and everything went by quickly and splendidly. We can’t thank our wedding guests enough for making it such a fun and special evening, and we also thank you for putting up with our block of Beyonce songs during the reception.

As most of you know, we went to Maui for our honeymoon. It was absolutely breathtaking, and a welcome change from our midwest, landlocked state. Since I’m sure you want every single detail, I’ll give you a run-down of our days exploring Maui. If you’re not ready to read a long post about our adventures, click here. If you are, then continue…

Americans unite: Stop the spread of gay!

As detailed in a previous post, the social and political climate in the United States is getting rather stormy when it comes to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people. Hell, it’s even becoming hostile towards women’s health. It’s often difficult for me to read or talk about all of the anti-GLBT legislation and action that keeps popping up, because I can’t even fathom why so many people think it’s okay to a) treat GLBT people as second-class citizens, and b) try to shield the heterosexual population from the evils of homosexuality (won’t somebody please think about the children??!).

But, since these individuals have such faulty logic and are complete whackadoos, sometimes I can find it in myself to let go of my anger, and instead laugh at their crazy antics. Please, gentle readers, follow me in my journey to laugh at the whackadoos.

First, let’s talk about everybody’s favorite J. Crew ad. For those of you who have been living under a rock (i.e., for those of you who don’t troll the innienets all day), J. Crew published the following ad, featuring a designer having a loving moment with her son, who has freshly-painted pink toenails:

Do you feel gender-confused? I sure do!! And so does FoxNews.com Health columnist Dr. Keith Albrow, who said:

This is a dramatic example of the way that our culture is being encouraged to abandon all trappings of gender identity.

Yes! At least somebody gets the meaning behind what Erin Brown from the Media Research Center (i.e., crackpot opinion piece central) called “blatant propaganda celebrating transgendered children.” In her recent article, she explained:

Not only is Beckett likely to change his favorite color as early as tomorrow, Jenna’s indulgence (or encouragement) could make life hard for the boy in the future. J.CREW, known for its tasteful and modest clothing, apparently does not mind exploiting Beckett behind the façade of liberal, transgendered identity politics. One has to wonder what young boys in pink nail polish has to do with selling women’s clothing.

Thank you, Erin Brown, for exposing the truth. To all of the parents with young children reading this blog– Do your best to prevent your children from viewing J. Crew ads! They might turn into trannies! Oh wait, if you’re worried about that, you should probably stop reading our blog.

And perhaps the worst thing about this situation is that J. Crew continues to push its homo-queer agenda by showing a male fashion designer with his *GASP* same-sex partner!!

It wasn't until the publication of this ad that the American public found out that gay male fashion designers exist.

Oh, the horrors!

Okay, let’s move on. Did you know that the Tennessee state Senate passed a “Don’t Say Gay” bill that would prohibit elementary and middle school teachers from providing “any instruction or material that discusses sexual orientation other than heterosexuality”? The Senator who introduced the bill is Stacey Campbell.

This Senator is certainly gender-confused. His mother gave him a girl's name!

In defense of the bill, Stacey cited examples of past cases from other states, in which parents were up in arms about things like children’s books that feature gay families, story tales about two princes falling in love, information about same-sex relationships and health in sex ed classes, and perhaps the worst part, teachers discussing homophobia and bullying with their students. How these schools in question didn’t turn into homosexual kid factories is beyond me.

Our friends over at FCKH8 made an amazing video in response to this batshit loco legislation:

Haha! Those kids cussed!

I’d like to end this post with a few recent non-whackadoo videos that have really touched me. First, here’s a Representative who asks, “How many gay people must God create before we accept that he wants them around?”

And last, here is the Google Chrome commercial that brought me to tears:

Absolutely beautiful.

To My Dear Friend Rob

Dear Rob,

Why do you want to ruin my wedding?

I bet  you didn’t know this but at least 0.5% of the reason why Anna and I wanted to have a wedding is just so we could meet you. You wouldn’t want to crush our delicate lesbian hearts just because you couldn’t be bothered to buy a suit, do you?

I have lots of brilliant reasons why it’s so important that you be present for me and Anna’s wedding. Want to hear them? Well, too bad. Here we go:

First of all, we’re beginning to think you don’t exist. I’ve known Vernon since I started working in the Office of Admissions in 2002. It’s 2011, Rob. You do the math. Did you do it? So now you know that Vernon and I have known each other for 9 years and I have never met you. NINE years, Rob. 9 years. I’m beginning to think you are some sort of mythical creature like the Easter Bunny…

George W Bush LOVES the Easter Bunny

Or Samsquanch…

Rob, you can tell everyone what a "Samsquanch" is when you come to the wedding.

Or Marriage Equality.

Secondly, I think you and I would be great friends. Vernon and Anna Saraceno are great friends. Vernon even has a shrine to Anna in his office. Do you have a shrine to me in your office, Rob? I didn’t think so. If we were friends, we could talk about all sorts of stuff like… well, I don’t know what. But I know you could help me figure out more ways to pester Vernon. For example, I didn’t know your refusal to buy a suit would annoy him so much. I’m sure I can get some mileage out of that one!

Some might call this "creepy"; I just call it "love".

And finally, I have no idea what you look like. I hear you and Vernon look alike. Anna and I have the same name but we look nothing alike. You and Vernon have completely different names, but look like each other. Rob, don’t you see how these are the makings of the most awesome, queerest friendship quartet that the world has ever seen?! Why are you foresaking our destiny?!

This is the only picture of Rob I have ever seen.

 So, Rob, yesterday Vernon told me that he might not let you come to the wedding if you don’t buy a suit.  This troubles me, Rob. The wedding is in 22 days. 22 days, Rob. That means you have THREE WEEKS to find the suit of your dreams and get it altered so that it fits you like a glove. Do you really want me and Anna to only be 99.5% happy on our wedding day? This doesn’t bode well for the future of our non-existent friendship, Rob. Your refusal to buy the appropriate apparrel for the happiest day of my life makes me feel like this:

You don’t really want me to feel that way, do you Rob?

To aid in your search for the perfect suit, I have done some internet searching for you. You can even buy a suit on Amazon.com, Rob. Who doesn’t love shopping on Amazon? I know my future BFF likes shopping on Amazon (in case you haven’t realized it yet, my future BFF is you Rob. It’s always been you.)

In conclusion, I hope my honest and heartfelt confessions have inspired you to go out there and find the perfect suit for what will surely be the most fun, least legal wedding you attend all year. You’d better be there Rob. I want to be 100% happy on my wedding day and only YOU can make that happen.

One more thing, Rob. No Texas Tuxedo, okay? It might have worked for Justin and Britney but it ain’t gonna work for you.

What's their excuse? "It was the late 90's"?

Sincerely-

Your dearest friend that you just haven’t met yet

[To the rest of our friends and family: By now I'm sure you agree with me that Rob just needs to get off his duff and buy a suit for our wedding. Rob, get it together man.]

Look at us!

Our engagement pictures arrived yesterday and we couldn’t be happier! You can view the entire set on Anna Vanderzee’s Flickr account.

I cannot stop looking at these two. I think they are so perfect:

I want to thank Beth Droste-Glowinski and her wife, Anna, again for helping us make sure we got some pictures that we really love.  Yay!

Legalize it.

We didn’t necessarily set out to make this a political blog, but you can’t really have a big lesbian wedding in the middle of Indiana without discussing politics and law. A few weeks ago, I attended a mini-symposium on DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) and the future of same-sex marriage, hosted by the IU Maurer School of Law.

Bear with me. This is gonna be a long one.

I’m not the Bride but I’m not the Groom either.

I’m reading this book called Butch is a Noun by S. Bear Bergman and it’s changing my life a little bit (then again, maybe I’m just exercising parts of my brain I haven’t used in while).  It’s one of those books where you start reading it and everything just clicks and suddenly you’re exclaiming “Yes! That’s exactly how I feel when I have to use a public restroom!” Okay, maybe that wouldn’t happen to most of you.

I came across this paragraph in one of Bergman’s essays, titled “Bridal Registry” and I had to read it to Anna instantly. She suggested I share it with all of you since we know you are faithfully checking our blog everyday for updates.

I did not exactly set out to be a Bride. I didn’t set out to be a Groom, either. In much the same way that I have a wife but I am not a husband, I had a Bride but I was not a Groom. Not only that, but people kept asking me what I was, then, as though the union of souls could not continue until the taxonomy had been satisfied. I was clear that I was not a Bride. I was willing to be a Groom, but it didn’t quite seem like the thing; I suggested that she was Beauty, and I was Beast. Harlequin and Columbine, I offered, bird and bee, but the prevailing sentiment was that either I was a Bride or I was a Groom. I dug in and announced that I was a Bear, that I had chosen a Russian girl on purpose so that the Bride and the Bear would make cultural sense, and now, if I could please be excused from the conversation, I had yarmulkes to order.

-S. Bear Bergman, Butch is a Noun

 

 Gender identity is very complicated for me. 32 years in and I’m still trying to figure it out. I’m genderqueer but not transgender; I don’t feel like my body doesn’t match how I feel inside. I just think that I don’t really match what it means to most people to be a woman or to be a man, inside or outside. I think I occupy this space in between that most people don’t take the time to understand or even consider. I look like a teenaged boy, I get called “sir” all the time and my friends love to tell me how girly I am. I don’t really fit in anywhere. But you’ll be happy to know that I am very much okay with it. And hopefully you are too!

So, you know, I’m not the Bride but I’m not really the Groom either. I fit somewhere comfortably in the space between. Maybe I’m the Broom (hey, it sounds a lot better than Gride).

Meet our officiant!

Anna M. Eaglin

The most common question I received when Anna S. and I announced our engagement was “Isn’t that illegal?” Well, no, not exactly. Our marriage will not be legally recognized. I realize  this is really more of an issue of semantics but I do want everyone to rest assured that our non-legal lezzie wedding isn’t going to get raided by the po-lice. As far as I can tell, there are no laws against having a ceremony/raging party to honor the commitment we are making to each other.

The second most common question was “who is going to perform the service?” The assumption seemed to be that we would get someone from the local U. U. church to perform the ceremony. But Anna and I don’t go to the U. U. church and definitely don’t consider ourselves religious. Nothing against anyone who is religious or opts for a religious ceremony; it just didn’t seem to be the right option for us.

So what do you do when you are two non-religious individuals having a non-legal wedding? Well, if your name is Anna and you are marrying someone named Anna the only logical thing to do is get married by someone named Anna. Duh.

Anna Saraceno met Anna Eaglin at a Girls Like Us meeting early on in college. I, Anna Vanderzee, met Anna E. through one of Bloomington’s main social hubs, Jada B (turns out Anna S knew Jada B before I did but that’s because Jada B knows everyone and Bloomington is a small-ass town).  Eventually, all three of us ended up meeting and became the Anna Triumvirate.

The Anna Triumvirate

Anna S and I have lots in common with Anna E:

• We are all named Anna
• We are all way gay
• Anna E is finishing up her master’s degree in Human-Computer Interaction & Design (that same nerd degree that Anna S is going for)
• We all have dogs
• We all share a deep affection for Battlestar Gallactica and Buffy the Vampire Slayer
• We all have lots of awesome tattoos
• We all like to sing karaoke (well, Anna S and Anna E do; I like to sing but prefer to do it in the comfort of my own home or car or while Anna and I are walking around the grocery store)

All in all, we couldn’t think of a better person to stand up in front of all of you and talk about how great Anna and I are and how perfect we are together. The love two Annas feel for each other can only be truly articulated by another Anna. Duh.

[Author's note: I forgot to mention that Anna E even went and got herself ordained on the innienets. While this wasn't necessary for our non-religious, non-legal wedding both Anna S and I feel better knowing that the Church of Spiritual Humanism will provide Anna E with a piece of paper proving that she is qualified to marry us. Look! The "Deluxe Clergy Service Package" is only $89.95!]